Mandi  0:15  

I don’t even know if I’m allowed to say the Hey, hey, without Tiffany being here, I’m just gonna say Hey, y’all, it is Mandi. And your eyes, your ears are not playing tricks on you. We are actually back kind of sorta, we are back from our hideous. As y’all know, as you may have heard, probably you’ve heard by now, our beloved Tiffany lost her beloved husband Jerrell Smith tragically and suddenly and unexpectedly this past at the end of 2021. So we have been on a hideous and I first and foremost, just want to say thank you so much to our brown ambition fam. Because you all support for Tiffany, your love for her has just been oozing out of the internet is how it’s felt. I know that she’s seen your messages and feels all that love. So we definitely will continue to give Tiffany the space that she needs to move through this in whatever way that she needs and support herself. So from the bottom of my heart and from BI fam, just want to thank you guys. That being said, we are we are dipping our toe back into the show. And with Tiffany’s blessing, we are gonna be having a few guest co hosts for the month of January. I know this is a time of year when we all try to think about well try to think about or try to avoid thinking about what this next year is going to look like. And I’m so excited to have today’s guest co host here Jamila Souffrant, from journey to launch. Hey, Jamila. 

Jamila  1:38  

Hi Mandi 

Mandi  1:40  

Hey, thank you for thank you for joining the show, especially at this like, you know, this, I don’t know this this inflection point for us. And this time off for us. It didn’t feel right to not talk to the BI community at the beginning of the year, and I’m just so grateful to have you here with me. Helping me helping me get back on the Virtual Audio horse. I guess. 

Jamila  2:05  

Yeah, well, it’s an honor. It’s an honor to be asked to be back on the show. And you know, I love you, I love Tiffany, and all my support to you and Tiffany Tiffany, especially during this time. So I want to honor the show by giving my best and helping your fam your community out the best I know how which is, let’s let’s let’s talk about how we’re gonna get our get to our goals. But I also want to be real with goals too. I know we’re going to talk about goals for let’s be real about the overwhelming idea of what like goals are. And sometimes we just want to like sleep what’s up with that, like, so let’s get into it. 

Mandi  2:39  

I mean, this seems like such an insane time right now. It feels very like 2022 is very 2020. And a way and I find myself keep I keep saying 2020 Like we’re gonna be vision for setting and goal setting for 2020. It feels that way. But somethings are different. But I think what it feels like hasn’t changed at all, is that we are still figuring out how to cope. In a world that is still a little topsy turvy when it comes to COVID. Like, you’ve got three kids.

Jamila  3:06  

Three kids

Mandi  3:07  

Three kids, are they in school, out of school, virtual what’s happening.

Jamila  3:11  

They’re in school, but like, for example, my daughter, like I said, you know, I may need to mute I may need to get out because she’s been home, her class was exposed to COVID last week, and when that happens, like their SEC shutdowns. And so really, it’s been where you know, you thought maybe things will get more stable as time went on. And you can predict more your schedule, like my schedule is unpredictable because I can wake up and all of a sudden all kids are home and therefore interviews and to be canceled and or just my whole work schedule changes. So it’s really hard to to actually commit in advance to a lot of things. 

Mandi  3:44  

Which is so stressful when you think about goal setting, which we’re going to talk about today. But I had the last three weeks of December for me, my son came home sick with a non COVID illness ever heard of Coxsackie. It’s like a terrible disease that children’s children pass to one another in daycare facilities across the country. And why hasn’t there been a special on like dateline about this, but it’s hand foot and mouth disease. Anyway, so homeboy was home, I thought I was gonna have the week of Christmas, I took off two weeks of work. And I was like, this is going to be my, you know, planning for 2022 time, I’m goo do my last minute Christmas stuff. I’m going to make cakes and get prepared for our small little family gathering. He came home monday, he didn’t even spend a full day. Monday, they sent him home with a few like little spots. And by wednesday, he was just full on sick. And so he was home the week of Christmas the week after Christmas. And then because of COVID I just didn’t feel right, sending him back so soon because at the daycare even they were having cases they were being super, you know, like transparent about them all but I was just like, I was supposed to have the first week off the new year off so I could again plan off quote unquote, like no meetings where I could just business plan. And I was like, I’m gonna give this kid this week and I ended up not even having that so I feel like I’m already behind. And I’m, I’m in my mind a lot, I’m trying to be like you are where you need to be. The year is not completely destroyed yet, like, you’re just you know, you’re not where you thought you were gonna be. So how do you deal with that when we’re all like, it seems like the plans that we even dreamp, like started to think about planning already being.

Jamila  5:21  

Really I think, I think I think this is a lot of people, I don’t think I think people listening here are like nodding their heads and saying, This is me, too. If you have kids, especially you probably feel this, if you don’t even there’s this just like, it’s almost like this dark cloud of unpredictability. And it’s like, you don’t have control, right? There’s so much out of outside of our control, like, I’m trying to remember a time and my kids are pretty young. So this was like the years now that they would all been in school, and it would have been predictable, versus like, when they were home. And I haven’t had that because now since the pandemic started, it has been in and out, they’ve been home virtual learning. And so I think for a lot of us, it’s really just really seeing like, we, there’s not much we can do. I mean, there are some things but there’s not much we have to learn to go with the flow. And even this morning, I was just thinking and trying to think on the good side, right? Not trying to like wallow in self pity about how much time I don’t have, and how unpredictable it is, and you know, being grateful for things, but giving myself grace to feel that way. You know, like, Wow, you are dealing with a lot. But then also saying to yourself and myself, you don’t have to get it all done. And it’s okay to slow down. Like we are in unprecedented times. Like we’ve never experienced this before. And so we are not gonna know how to deal with it on a day to day basis, like, and so I think community and talking about it, hopefully will help let other people know like it’s okay. If you do not have it figured out. It’s okay, if you didn’t set your 2022 goals yet. It’s okay. 

Mandi  6:57  

To say it’s okay to be a little bit pissed off about it. Like I’m resentful. I’m a little bit resentful. I’m not gonna lie. And I had to just like, have my mom or I’m like, damm it, people can you know, get this vaccine that is medically tested, tested and proven. And you know, like, we could be over this by now. It’s like when you do all your work in school, and the one jerk doesn’t and the teachers like no recess for anybody. But there is that feeling of like resentment of I want to be like, I’m genuinely so excited. And I feel like you are to you’ve had such an amazing momentum with journey to launch this past couple of years, especially this past year. And I just got my you know Mandi moneymakers off the ground in my businesses, like there’s all this great momentum. And it’s like, damn it, I want to be like, I want to be out there. You know, in the pocket, like I want to be out there. Just every day is like pro productive. And we are like making sales and striking deals and signing contract, like stuff is happening. And it’s very much like, I’m just gonna sit on the couch and watch eight hours of Pepa, because I have a sick baby or because the brain can’t, I don’t want to leave the house because he’s still to not vaccinated. So I don’t feel safe having him at the grocery store anymore. So I feel like as far as like, not wallowing, I totally get it. But I’m also like, let’s just acknowledge for a minute that this is very frustrating. Yeah, no, yeah. Yeah. And now how do I change the vision that I even had for myself going into the new year?

Jamila  8:28  

Yeah, it’s I think, I’m glad you said that. Because we can be mad, we can be frustrated. And I think if we can accept that, sometimes we like try to ignore it or push it aside. I think he can help us direct our anger, like in terms of like, in a healthy way. And doesn’t mean you have to now get productive, like, oh, channel that into something, you know, like, but yeah, I think for me, it’s helpful, at least because I find myself just, you know, sometimes you just want to you get frustrated easily at everything I know, I do. I’ll speak for myself, when like, you wanted one thing, and something is not going the way you intended, but I’ll say this. So for 2022 I definitely just made a decision that I’m okay with doing less, I am going to do less. And if that means I make less, I’m fine with that. Now, that is you know, coming from a privilege. I don’t because you want to make less.

Well, I don’t want to make less.

I dfinitely want to do less, right? I want do less, I want to focus more, listen what right and but it’s at my here’s my thing, if I if if it’s gonna be more work and more stress to make more money, I’m good. Like if I stay at the level that I was in 2021, I’ll be more than good. You know if I make less I’ll actually be able to still support myself and my family and do all the things that I want to do. So I’m okay. I’m not gonna do it at the expense of making more hitting like, you know, setting this target at the expense of my mental health and the way I feel. So I just decided this year that it’s going to be about focusing on the work, which I’ve done in the past. But this year, there’s a lot of like new, exciting things happening. And so for me, it’s about laying the groundwork and realizing that you have three small kids, you do want a lot. And it’s okay to chill. And honestly, since since adopting that mindset from last year, I’ve been seeing more progress, more money. And so it’s really insane to me that when I decided that I’m going to do less, and I’m okay with less, that I’m having more and getting more. 

Mandi  10:25  

And to be clear, you’re talking about less hours of the day that you were spending on work? And what has that given you space to do? Is it that you are charging more for the work that you are doing? Or you are targeting higher value work? Like, what does that look like for you. 

Jamila  10:42  

So part of that was just constriction because of time, because my kids, they get out of school, certain times, I only have a certain amount hours to get things done, versus like I have all day to just, you know, do whatever. So part of it was that part of it was just turning down opportunities that weren’t a good fit. But a lot of it right even like, as I look forward to this year, it’s about the quality of work that I’m doing, like who I’m partnering with, or the brand, so I make my money do brand partnerships do now potentially not potentially, I should stop seeing potentially a book that I’ll be writing this year, the podcast.

Mandi  11:18  

Congratulation by the way

Jamila  11:18  

 Thank you

Mandi  11:19  

I have not had a chance to formally formally to congratulate you in person, but I’m so proud of you, that’s gonna be amazing. I can’t wait. 

Thank you, thank you. And I haven’t made the official announcement yet. I will be. But it’s like one of those things where because it’s not about like going to chase opportunities, like I’m letting the opportunities come to me, I’m being aware of what I want. And then deliberately focusing on things that I want versus like, oh, everything is for me, or seeing someone who has a very lively Instagram account and doing all the things and thinking I have to like step it up and do that too, when I just don’t have the energy to write. So it’s more about just like, What can Jamila focus on, not chasing opportunities, not comparing myself to other people, and staying within my lane. And that, for me has been helpful in getting more of what I want. 

Yeah staying in your lane. That’s like, I don’t know if I have a mantra for that I repeat to myself. But man, things are coming together for me when I decided I want to talk about career and finance together and not separately. And I don’t like that is my message. And that is my that is where I love being in love playing. And it helped me so much like that saying, I know it’s not even the right way to pronounce it. It has its pronounced niche. But that saying there’s riches and niches. It’s so true, it is really true when you’re willing to like when you’re willing to accept the fact that by leaning into what you want to focus on, you’re going to have to say no to some stuff, say no to even opportunities. Like for example, a media network reached out to me and they wanted me to do something around budgeting for family dinners. And ohh this was like an amazing media opportunity for me. But with the timing, the amount of work I would have had to do to think about I don’t know, maybe doordash. That’s what I do. I don’t know how to come up with budget dinners. If I need to watch this segment, I don’t think the world needs me to tell them how to do a budget dinner, I do not know how to do it myself. I know how to get separate meals for people in my household cause we all eat different things and have different allergies. So I can talk about that. Anyway, So I had to say no, cause like that is not my zone of genius. But bay bay, when Dr. Phil calls me up and says do you want to come talk about how America can quit? I can say yes to that you know. And that was it was so powerful for those last few months of the year, when I just started with my full chest leaning into that and at least it gives you like you talked about, you know, saying no to certain things to it gives you like a lens through which to filter opportunities. And when they do and don’t make sense.

Yeah, where you’re trying to go? 

Jamila  13:55  

Yeah, and honestly, so as you get more rooted in your what you do well and you start getting some experience in the market, whatever market I know people listening that our podcast is or a personal finance, influencers, quote, unquote, but for me, like there are things that now someone would send me like, will you do this and I see the budget and I’m like not no, like, I’m not even going to consider it, you know, so as you gain experience as you know your worth in the marketplace, then you can turn down things that are just not worth your time and like you want me to do how much work for how little money and like that’s just not gonna fly versus okay, like if this is something that’s not gonna be worth my time. And when I do the math, my take home pay on this is worth that, that that extra work that I didn’t plan on doing, then maybe I’ll consider it. So I definitely am at the point where I can turn down things because it just doesn’t financially make sense or timewise because for me, my time is worth more than the actual money and my energy so therefore if it’s gonna like take too much time and I’m not even gonna get compensated correctly for it, it’s just not even gonna be something I look at anymore. 

Mandi  15:03  

Yeah, I can’t tell you how many like, will you come to my companies, employee resource groups? You know, happy hour and talk like, and it’s like a friend of a friend, you know what I mean? Like those kinds of random requests? Cause, yeah. Anyway, it’s it’s really important to know how to say no. So heading into 2022. We’re already here, right? I started thinking about it, it’s just be even mean it’s like a devil’s advocate question doesn’t even make sense to set 2022 goals, specifically for this year? Because, for me, I feel like everything that’s happening for me in this year were because of seeds that were planted in 2021. Do you know what I mean? Like conversations that were had things that I did things, probably things will happen for me this year, because of things I did last year that I don’t even know yet. You know what I mean? So I started like, getting trapped, like, kind of in my head about should I even be thinking about just 2023 instead and give myself? Cause realistically, if I’m sitting down to write my goals, I’m like, Am I really going to do that this year? Maybe 2023? Because there’s a lot of steps to get to that. You know, what I mean? How do you think about time, when it comes to setting those goals? 

Jamila  16:09  

I think it’s important to be realistic, especially considering just the unpredictability of what’s going on right now. Like, who knows where we’ll be in six months. And so therefore, I think it’s good to have like a forward look of what you want to do over the next few years, couple of years with your career money, and then really be realistic about what could be done. Like, if all goes well, it’s almost looks like I would have a few like, like columns, like worst case scenario, like you know average like I’m good with it happens. And then like best case, like and worst case being like, all the things go wrong, and everyone’s like back on lockdown, again, like how does that impact your goals? But really looking at best case, I can have a more predictable schedule, these things are happening, the world opens up again, what does that look like for me and my goals, and do those three columns? I think, atleast seeing that and knowing that may be helpful in terms of planning what you can actually do. And so you won’t be hard on yourself. If you’re going after the best case scenario goals when the world and circumstances around you gave you like the worst case, quote, unquote, right, you can be more realistic about what you’re able to do. And I know for me, similar to you, and this is for everyone, like whether you know it or not seeds are being planted. And so yes, things are things are now sprouting, right, like opportunities are not sprouting for you that that were planted long ago or last year. And you still have the opportunity this year to plant seeds. So maybe they’re not things that will come and sprout and be into full bloom right now, but it will be so what are the things that you can plant where the seeds you can plant now, that can help you in the years ahead? So that’s kind of how I look at things. I feel like this is my year of, again, the goals I set put into motion, and now they’re coming to like for me this year will be about writing my book about being increasing the podcast distribution and listenership and improving that. And so what does that look like for me? How can I divide my time in a way this year that makes that a priority? 

Mandi  18:01  

Yeah, I mean, just to write a book, that is the ultimate seed to plant because genuinely, you have to be in a dark corner doing that work, you know what I mean? And no one and it’s not flashy, it’s not sexy. It is not, it’s not tick talkable. I don’t think.

Jamila  18:18  

No that well, that terrifies me, honestly, because so far, if this beginning, were only a second weekend to the year, and I thought like why not? Like I thought, you know, the first week of school for the year like the kids were all gonna be back. I’d have my week to settle in. And that has not been the case. And I’m just wondering, again, in my worst case scenario, all the kids are home this year, and how do I write a book with that, right? And so I’m already thinking of like backup plans, or what that looks like, and it’s scary, but I also get in this place of I’m hoping for the best but you know, I’m gonna do the best I can. What else can I do? 

Mandi  18:59  

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You’re back I’ll tell you what I’m really glad I planted some seeds on my my travel rewards credit card because I cashed in some travel points to get my mom here last week. I said, Mom, I need help. And even though it feels like 2022, I mean 2020 I realized one thing is different. The adults are vaccinated. So like flying, having my mom live with us at the beginning of the pandemic, when Rio was a few months old. I mean, God, I needed that help so bad, but it wasn’t safe for her. You know, she has pre existing conditions, all of that. Atleast this time, I was like, I can pull this lever, we can assess the risks of her flying here, direct flight, all that. But I needed help. And I was like, I will be spending this money and you will be coming to New York, please clear your schedule. And that was how I survived last week. What does that look like for you? Like, you know, I’m here in New York by myself, I don’t really have a my mother in law would kill me for saying that. But you know, she’s not as helpful as she think she is. I’m really have a lot of family. So, I mean, for me, it’s fly my mom in. And I and I have my cousin lives with me, I’ll be transparent about that. I have a a young cousin, my baby, who’s not a baby anymore. But she’s like a mother’s helper for me at home, I could not have done this without her. And I need that help. So what does it look like for you? 

Jamila  21:25  

Oh, so I, you know, I also had a lot more living help in the beginning of my children’s like when they were younger. And but that has since gone away. My aunt also used to live with us and help out with the kids, right. And I have just to give context, I have a seven, five and three years old. And so but she she went on for other opportunities when they all were supposed to be in school. And then so with that happening like that they are not in school, or that when it started to happen, the pandemic happened. And so we just had to figure it out. And so I was making good strides because I finally did find someone that was going to be like a babysitter slash like tutor to help them after school, versus me having to stop what I’m doing like midday cause they need to be picked up by two. And then like, you know, I’m with them.

What even two o’clock get out of school, what even is that? Right? And so I’m just like, so I finally found someone that was like, Alright, I can do this. But then ofcourse, with everything, especially with this Marian and I call it the Marian variant, like it was just like a little touch and go because you know, school classes were being exposed, even though everyone’s fax all the adults are vaccinated, we still didn’t want like to pass on it unnecessary, like, you know, something, if something was happening. So well, I thought like I was set for the new year, like, okay, um, because she’s gonna be here at two every day, it was like she wasn’t able to come last week, because you know, we just wanted to be safe. That since my daughter was home, like everyone was safe. So even with that, it’s like, we have the help. But even though people are vaccinated, it still impacts what we’re doing and how I can look forward. So right now it’s really touching go. It’s like.

Mandi  23:01  

We’re just figuring this shit out, like the robot. 

Jamila  23:03  

Exactly and so I have about, you know, a couple hours if I’m lucky to have some deep work time. And in this case, not really, because my daughter is still home. And then

Mandi  23:14  

Can I just say again, thank you so much for showing up for Brown Ambition. I don’t know, maybe I’m just like, I don’t know, a little heavily emotional because Tiffany isn’t here. But I just really appreciate it. Cause I mean, I feel it. Like why aren’t we both taking naps? Right? 

Jamila  23:27  

Right. Well, the thing I think So right now my daughter, the only reason I’m doing this or able to do this is cause she’s on our iPad. And that has been Marian of getting any work then when she’s home is like screentime. And I have to let go of the guilt cause ofcourse, it’s just like, oh, like I should be doing things with her. Like, why I don’t really want to and two things I have to do. 

Mandi  23:48  

Yeah, it is some days it is like there is no grand plan. It is what can you squeeze in? You know, in those three to four, I feel like I have three to four working hours a day and I and being entrepreneurs at home. Does your does your husband work from home? Or is he out? Work? 

Jamila  24:03  

No, he’s a teacher. So he’s going in and he’s teaching. But one of the things that I did this year too, was I’m trying to outsource so okay, maybe the babysitters a touching go depending on the week, but I did find someone who can cook our meals for the week. So I just started that last week. And it’s been amazing. And so I’m thinking about things like that, like how can I invest or spend more money where I can get time back? And when I think about like the food I get happy, you know, I think about that I don’t have to do it. And what’s crazy is I’m still doing the preparing of it cause she’s she prepares it. And it’s in batch but I still have to like put it into plates. And that feels very nurturing cause I know what each kid likes and you know what they don’t like. And so for me, it’s like, Where can I do that? Where can I outsource and get help in the home where I need it because I the kind of work I want to do in the world. Like I need help. I can’t I can’t like raise my family or racist family and be the type of mom and wife I want to be end, create this business, I can’t do it all I need support in both areas. I

I’ve been thinking a lot about loneliness. And there was actually a really heartbreaking Tiktok video that I watched from a woman, I’ll try and find it. But she was talking about how for two for people who are single and living alone through the pandemic, it’s been two years of loneliness. And I like I said, I could not have survived if I had not imported my cousin from Atlanta, Georgia, I was like, You’re not doing anything Virtual College, like, why don’t you come live with us and help me. I mean, without her, and, you know, being able to get my mom here when I need them. It has made me think differently even about how I mentor women who are even working like just, you know, regular nine to five jobs and feeling like they can’t do it all, you know, the things that we’re talking about, you know, I do have someone who cleans when I need them, I don’t have I’m not on that, you know, get meals prepared. But with my door dash budget, I might as well be paying someone to cover me. You know what I mean? That I don’t like mathematically it makes sense. But these are, you know, decisions that are made when you have the resources to do them for even women who don’t have the resources. I’m like, honestly, if I could go back, I would, I would even say to myself, like you don’t need to live in New York all the time, move closer to your parents, you know, move closer to family who can support you. And I in this whole pandemic. And from financial standpoint, too. I have rethought the way I think about that support and being closer so much value and cost savings to having people in your pod who can support you. So if that means moving closer to family, having family moved closer to you, I think it is so worth it. Especially if financially you can’t like hire that out, you know what I mean? And it’s it’s the kind of advice I couldn’t see myself giving 567 years ago. But yeah

Mandi  26:30  

 Famliy is  money. 

Well, and what you’re talking about to what I usually like to call it, it’s like gold fuel. So we’ll set these goals and intentions that we have for ourselves, career maybe wise, or creative, creativity wise, or even workout, right? 

Jamila  27:07  

Like someone who say, I want to go to the gym more. But maybe you can’t go to the gym, because you know, you have your kids with you, you need someone to help watch them and or there’s just other things happening that prevent you from doing that. So I like to say what’s the fuel, what’s the support, or that’s going to help you reach that goal. Because if you set these goals, but then you don’t have the support a fuel around you to help you reach that, then you’re not going to and then you’re gonna get frustrated at yourself. So in my case, if I have, but so many hours in the day, and I don’t like cooking anyway, so I really am not missing that part of it. And I want to be able to like really either choose what I want to do with that time to outsourcing and paying for food. services make sense for me. And if I were trying to do it all I would lack in the area that is important to me. So what does that mean? That means I have to find that support. That means I have to ask around like, Okay, is there a family. So in this case, it was a friend of the family who really likes to cook, and she’s a good cook. And that’s what she’s doing. And I just think that for a lot of people, it’s about being not so harsh on yourself if you do have to outsource and then also making room in your budget. So again, I like to be honest, like this comes from a place of we have it in our budget to be able to do this, but I also make it a priority. So it means that we’re saving or investing less because right now I’m getting more support emotionally and in the household, I’m gonna do that because otherwise I’m going to go crazy. And I think a lot of women or people who have that role in their household needs to make that decision. And it’s okay to make that decision because I think this impacts your mental well being and emotional well being the kind of support you have. So make it a priority in your budget 

Mandi  28:49  

Which then gives you the mental bandwidth to do the work that will bring you more resources. I love that and that’s why we talked about on the show, having your budget be a living breathing thing that you’ve review, that it’s not just like a rigid stick that you kind of beat yourself up with because when it when you’re it can get in your own way, you know what I mean? It’s like me every year when I’m like I’m gonna lose 75 pounds and like are you really you know, maybe we can start with one pound a month. It and the idea of micro goals is something that I have. So you talked about goal fuel, for me breaking down, not looking too much at like huge, big goals for myself and more like micro goals like a micro goal for myself is drinking a gallon water of gallon of water a day. Another micro goal is to move 10 minutes a day, which is very hard from because my ego gets in the way Jamila, I want to book a half marathon in May and get ready for it. You know what I mean? That’s how I’ve typically done my fitness goals and it just creates stress. And am I realistically going to have time to train for a half marathon? No, but can I move 10 minutes a day? Yes. Whether it’s stretching you know those things micro goals. Can we talk about vision boards for a second, though?

 Yeah, let’s do it. Have you done a vision board? What do you think about this? How do you feel about the vision, and we’re talking about it to be clear, like, the last year, my cousin and I spent over $100, buying magazines, which is so dumb. Because he gets magazines anymore, like $100 at CVS, like getting magazines to cut them up for a vision board, you know what I mean? And I was like, Does this make sense? But how do you how do you feel about it? 

Jamila  30:35  

You know, I’m one of those people where like, in my head, I want to be one of those people who crafts and do vision boards, and I’m like, I’m gonna do it. And I just never do. I feel like I have a vision board in my head. Like, I have ideas and, and things and vision and visuals of what I want to happen in my life. But I have not done an actual physical vision board. I feel like Canva I’ve done it in Canva, which is an app can do it in Canva. You can do it in Canva, which is, you know, you can do a bunch of fun things in there. But to be realistic with myself, it sounds good. And I know a lot of people who do it and it works really well. And I would even say that as advice.

Mandi  31:12  

You know, do a vision board. 

Jamila  31:13  

But for me, I found that almost like a vision in my head. Things I want to happen. Like when I go to sleep when I can’t sleep at night, like I kind of like create these scenarios and like that’s fine. That’s me visioning. So that’s another just alternate if you don’t want to cut out magazines.

Mandi  31:28  

Or do just daydreaming. Yeah, I’ve been doing that since forever. So I actually just before you and I hopped on, I was on an hour long vision board virtual vision board session. So I have a I got a business coach at the end of last year. Shout out to Maya. And she she has like a she has a more structured like 12 week program for entrepreneurs. I’m not a part of that. But she said oh, you know, if you want to call him I’m doing a vision board guided vision board virtually with my cohort and I was like, hell yeah, I want to come check that out. I’m planning like a virtual vision 20 co goal setting session to for Mandy moneymakers, which starts in mid January, I want to talk about that’s really exciting. But anyway, so what Maya did, and what I liked is it was through Canva. But it was mostly like guided questions. And what I liked about that, as it was, like you were saying like it was a lot of visualization just in your own mind. And questions around, for example, in even in 10 years, where do you envision yourself sitting at noon, on a Monday in 10 years? who’s around you? What does it smell like? What’s outside the window? Is there a window, you know, these types of questions, and I just found that so much more relaxing, than trying to cut up pictures in a magazine and find ones that matched what I could envision for myself. And I don’t know, I really enjoyed it. And I feel like to doing it virtually, with like women, like other people on the call, it just helped me. Like, even some women are like, I just want a really good cocktail, you know, 10 years from now. And the common theme was like, there weren’t that many people around in our future visions, it was like, core family, peace and calm anyway, just kind of set the tone for my vision, my like goal setting for this year. Whereas I think a week ago would have been like, I got to do this. And that did I gotta have millions and did it, you know, like just all over the place. And it kind of helped me center myself a little bit. 

Jamila  33:26  

Yeah, I think people I think it’s also important to know your personality. So there’s so many people who will give you advice on how to set goals and what to do to reach those goals. And you have to choose and pick and try things out. And so let’s just say you’re not in a place you want to be in life, you realize, like, wow, like, I’m not hitting any goals, or I haven’t made any goals, and I feel stuck, then you should try something different. And I know for myself, what I and what I tell other people journeyers who listen to my stuff, where I’m just like you, you have to try different things until you find what works for you. You may find like the more structured sitting down doing a vision board is not helpful for you. You may find that sitting and meditating and visualizations work better for you, you may find like you said, you know just actually talking with a group of friends who are positive about your hopes and dreams are or that to at or maybe all the above. So I think it’s important to know your personality, know what works, but you don’t know what works until you try it. And if you’re in a position of your life where you feel like things are not working out, then you should be trying different things. And therefore seeing what works, what you can add to your like I say toolbox to go with you on your journey. 

Mandi  34:33  

And give yourself that freedom to try something different is really hard for a perfectionist. I’m a recovering perfectionist. I have a really hard time when I decide to do something, I just kind of create this deadline or I create this goal and I’m like okay, or I’m gonna create a process or a system to achieve it. I got really good at this as a manager, I would constantly remove processes that weren’t working or make them more efficient all that but personally, I’m just like, but I got to do by this date, and you know, whether it’s my therapist or my husband, or my business coach, they’re like, who says, and I’m like, well, Mandi told me to do it. But you know, and just giving yourself that, that that freedom to try something and then decide you don’t like it.

Jamila  35:15  

 Or not so I pulled that came up in my head that I’ve read recently was perfection is the voice of the oppressor. And sometimes, sometimes we oppress, or we like, we really halt our own growth with the perfection thing, because nothing is going to be perfect. And by the time you make it perfect, or you think it all out and think it should be this way, you’re it’s, it’s not like, by the time you even get it out into the world that you do it, it’s something totally different that needs to be done. So, and this is also to with your money, I find this all the time, like, you know, people who are like, I want to know the exact right thing to do. And so therefore, I’m not going to do anything. And while I’m not advocating for you to just like go out and just like make rash decisions. It’s also just like, that’s why it’s important to listen to podcasts, like ours, and to educate yourself as much as possible to, to get the skill sets with inside of you to make good decisions like you trust your decision making, and know that even if you make a wrong decision, like nothing is going to be the end of the world, right? You can you can recalibrate and try something different. And I think that for me, that’s been a big part of my success is knowing that I won’t have it all figured out, I know that I’m just going to go do it. It’s not always going to be pretty, but nothing is going to cause my death. So therefore I can retry again, like the next day, it’s okay. 

Mandi  36:31  

I say that a lot in career coaching, you know, ask for it, you probably won’t die. I’m like, 99.9% Sure, you’re not going to die. You know, and there is that fear. And a lot of times out remind clients or I don’t know what to call, it feels weird saying clients, mentees, whatever. You know, if you they’re like, Well, what if I take this job and I end up hating it, then you’ll get a different job. You probably won’t hate it because the things that you hated about your last job, you’ve you purposefully went for a different direction this time. But let’s say you do like devil’s advocate, let’s say you do end up hating it or they treat you bad or you know, there’s layoffs and you get laid off. And you did everything right. You know, I’ve been there I’ve been laid off. I’ve been let go all that and it is like liberating when you can kind of start when you like face that fear head on. And you imagine the worst, not saying all the time, you don’t want to say that negative headspace. But go ahead and imagine it and just know, it doesn’t like take away from the hard work that has gotten you to where you are, when you get let go or you decide you want to quit a job, it doesn’t mean that you’ve erased all your experience or your contacts, you know those seeds that you’ve been planting. And sometimes just talking that out and having the other person remind you of that is so it’s liberating in that sense. 

Jamila  37:46  

And a lot of times our worst case scenario, like we make it worse, like we were thinking the worst like in my head, I’m always thinking sometimes like, if I even say something or do something, I’m thinking about the like the worst thing that person can do to respond to me and they don’t ever do that, then I’m just like, so the oppressor in my head is always making up these situations in these drama scenarios, that hardly never come true. And so it’s really important to just kind of like get outside of yourself and just do that thing, whatever it is that you’re looking to do. And but smart. I think it’s important to start smaller to think smaller about them and so you don’t get overwhelmed. 

Mandi  38:20  

And I also find like that oppressor, oppressive voice never goes away. I’ve kind of just created this vision of a really ugly dog that kind of just sits on the side of my desk and just like you upset me, and it’s like, that’s anxiety. That’s doubt. It’s all those feelings that just don’t go away. I feel like and I really just made peace with it. I don’t know what to call it, but it’s like an ugly dog. We’ll call it Rufus. It’s like a teeth missing. And you know, maybe it’s like, I don’t know, just like It’s like looking mangy and I’m just like, it’s a cute ugly dog that is always gonna be there but it’s about the other voices in the in voices are so important. That’s why like pot whether it’s podcast or the people in your life, a combination of both like who are you surrounding yourself with that can help keep the ugly dog that sits on your desk or wherever like keep them at bay or just remind you that like they’re going to be there but you don’t have to like always listen to that voice. 

Jamila  39:11  

Yeah, I actually had a choice sorry. Just just came up this some author John a of was on my podcast and he calls it soundtracks like and essentially like It’s like these loops that play in our head they’re from childhood from you know, our experiences and you can’t like you said it’s not really turning them off it’s turning them down turning up the volume on the other stations we want to hear more of it’s really what’s going to help. 

Mandi  39:35  

Yeah, I love that. I mean I think that that’s Yeah, absolutely a soundtrack and that you turn up the volume on what you what is positive and what serves you and I don’t know stop waiting for a time when doubt goes away. 

Jamila  39:48  

You know what also so I cause even sometimes I get caught in these loops like I’m just like not in a good mood. And I just know also it will pass because there are times when I’m really in a good mood like where I feel like wow, like the world is just like my oyster literally. But so when I’m in like that space of like feeling a little down, or sad or just whatever, languishing in what this reality is for us, I just remember to that it’s temporary. And there’s like, the, the good feeling is also there on the other side, like there is this and I don’t have to stay here. Like it’s part of the process. It’s part of my day, it’s part of my reality, but it’s not where I stay. Because I remember the moments which can happen it like literally like a second away or a day away where the whole like, it’s like, wow, like, it’s like almost like I feel the energy of the world of the universe of God like and that is kind of what I try to remember in those times of doubt, or despair, that this too shall pass. 

Mandi  40:46  

Amen. I think that is like, my entire journey in therapy. The past couple of years has been wrapped up in that mantra of you. This is temporary. It is a temporary feeling that will go away. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, Jamila. I wish we had more time but you are busy AF congratulations on the book. I know that this is like a sort of a you haven’t exactly gone full full public with that, but I can’t wait to hear more about it. And good luck writing it. I can only imagine. I hope to be right there beside you very soon. But yeah, talking about my vision board. There’s just like one picture on it. It’s a book but um, no, I’m just so proud of you and your journey and thank you for being so transparent about the struggle it I feel so you know, even with all the people that I talk to on a daily basis, women I’m coaching and stuff it still feels really good to sit across from a fellow mama who’s like, yeah, my plans are completely gone to pot and I’m just figuring it out too. So thank you for making me feel seen today. I really appreciate it 

Jamila  40:46  

Ofcourse Mandi and again it’s been an honor to come and share and talk with the fam with the brown ambition family. So thanks for having me again. And remember y’all check out Jamilia his podcast journey to launch go to journey to launch dot com your gorgeous website where what else do you have what else you want to plug anything else? 

Yeah okay what else so journey to launch dot com and on my socialism journey to launch on Instagram Twitter and Facebook. And so the podcast that I have also talks about money financial independence, retiring early but not all about that right it’s just about like how to you enjoy this journey to financial freedom and so if you want to get like a jumpstart guide on that like the best episodes listen to the most downloaded like five stages of financial independence that you have to travel through you can get the jumpstart guide is at journey to launch dot com slash jumpstart so that way you can get all the goodies and it’s free. 

Mandi  42:43  

I love it. All right, doll Thank you. Thank you. Thank you happy 2022 Good luck with whatever the day brings. And thank your daughter on my behalf for being a very good girl for Mama. Okay. I will thank you Mandi. Thank you love Lala Kent on Vanderpump rules now get to know her on give them Lala with her assistant. Yes, I get an interaction hangover. Well, you’re an extroverted introvert, right like that what it is so people would probably assume you’re an extrovert because when you’re out you’re social and this and that, but like it takes a toll on you. It did. Yeah, that’s a real thing. You get like physically exhausted. My body hurt. Yeah give them Lala listen wherever you get your podcasts