How to Set Realistic Money Goals for 2026: Ditch the Shame Spiral and Set Intentions That Stick
January is when everyone tells you to “go harder” with your money goals: save more, invest more, earn more. But for many of us, that energy doesn’t lead to long‑term motivation—it leads to anxiety, comparison, and a shame spiral the moment we fall off track.
On Brown Ambition, I sat down with financial therapist and author Aja Evans, LMHC to talk about a different way to approach our goals—one that honors both our financial ambitions and our mental health. Aja is a board‑certified therapist, speaker, and writer who has spent over a decade working at the intersection of money and mental health, helping people understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors driving their financial choices.
Why January Goals Feel So Heavy
In our conversation, Aja pointed out how often we ignore the *reality* of our lives when we set January goals. Many of us are tired, it’s cold and dark, and our energy is closer to hibernation than high‑performance mode—yet we still expect ourselves to go from zero to hero overnight.
She encouraged listeners to zoom out and ask some grounding questions before committing to a big intention:
– What does my time actually look like over the next few months?
– What’s my real energy level in this season?
– What responsibilities am I carrying (kids, caregiving, work, home) that impact my capacity?
If your calendar, energy, and responsibilities don’t match the goal, the problem isn’t your discipline—it’s that the goal was never realistic for the life you’re living.
The Comparison Trap: Setting Goals for Someone Else’s Life
Aja also named a familiar pattern: comparing ourselves to people with completely different circumstances and then wondering why we can’t keep up. She talked about seeing someone online with fewer responsibilities and unconsciously trying to hold herself to the same standard, despite being older and parenting young kids with many more obligations.
This kind of comparison quietly shapes the goals we set. Instead of asking, “What works for my life right now?” we ask, “What are they doing that I *should* be doing?” That’s how we end up with goals that look aspirational on paper but feel punishing in practice.
When Life Happens: Interruptions Aren’t Failure
During the episode, I shared a very real example: coming home from vacation to discover none of my faucets worked…followed by a surprise $1,000 plumbing bill. That expense didn’t push me into credit card debt, but it did blow up my carefully planned goals—and I was mad, not just about the bill, but about being “off track.”
Aja invited a different perspective. She suggested asking:
– Did I actually *handle* that emergency?
– Did I avoid going deeper into debt?
– Am I truly back at zero—or just adjusting the timeline?
From her lens, being able to pay for the emergency or manage it in any way is evidence of progress, not proof of failure. The work is to update the plan and keep going, rather than telling ourselves, “See, I always mess this up,” and quitting altogether.
Under‑Promise, Over‑Deliver (With Yourself)
One of Aja’s most powerful mindset shifts is borrowing an old business concept and applying it to your personal goals: under‑promise and over‑deliver.
Instead of choosing the earliest possible deadline based on a best‑case scenario, she recommends:
– Giving yourself more time than you *think* you need (for example, aiming for July instead of March).
– Treating anything you accomplish earlier as a win, not the standard.
This helps calm what she lovingly called the “negative, shitty committee” in your head—that inner critic that shows up when you miss a self‑imposed deadline. By building in buffer, you create more opportunities to feel proud of yourself, rather than constantly behind.
Be Realistic and Be Nice
As we wrapped up, Aja left listeners with a simple mantra: “Be realistic and be nice.” It sounds basic, but most of us are doing the opposite—setting unrealistic expectations and then being harsh with ourselves when we don’t meet them.
Her reminders:
– It’s not that serious. Your timeline can move, and that doesn’t erase your progress.
– You’re usually the only one mad about your goals; you also have the power to adjust them so you’re not constantly upset with yourself.
– If being kind to yourself feels hard, surround yourself with people who like you a lot and can reflect a gentler, more accurate picture back to you.
A Kinder Way to Do Money in 2026
If you’ve ever looked at your bank account and thought, “I should be further along by now,” or felt like one unexpected bill means you’ve “ruined” your financial year, this conversation with Aja is the reset you may need. It is an invitation to:
– Build goals around your real life, not your idealized one.
– Treat interruptions as part of the journey, not the end of it.
– Measure success not just by speed, but by sustainability and self‑respect.
You can hear the full conversation with on the Brown Ambition podcast, where we dig even deeper into the emotional side of money and what it really looks like to pursue financial growth without weaponizing your goals against yourself.
